In this month that include’s Father’s Day we have decided to shift the focus from our amazing entrepreneurial women and ask, “What does Daddy do right?”
There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Daddy does things very differently than Mommy does. What is sometimes in doubt is who does them right. But really, does it matter who is more right? What really matters is playing to each others strengths in this thing called parenting.
When speaking to kids I asked “What does Daddy do right?” and the responses absolutely ranged.
My dad does stuff with me like play with Lego’s and do work with his tools. – 6 year old boy
Dad cooks dinner when mom is not home. I like daddy’s food better. – 8 year old girl
He is not gone all of the time. He spends time playing with me. – 10 year old boy
We like fishing with dad. – 12 year old twins, one boy and one girl
My dad takes me to eat food that my mom wont let us have. – 13 year old girl
My dad taught me how to drive. He was less nervous than mom. – 17 year old boy
And then I asked the wives.
My husband had a hard time understanding why I wanted to start working. It did not make any sense to him since we did not really need the money. It was hard at first but once he realized how important working was to me he got on board. – married 10 years
When my husband and I got divorced I needed to go back to work. Child support just was not enough money and the kids were already in elementary school. I thought he would give me a hard time but he actually started taking more time to be with the kids. When he brought them home from their visitation with him he would send dinner over so I would not have to worry about dinner. – divorced three years
Oh My God, he was great. He just knew that I really wanted to grow my own business and see what I can make of it. We sat down and split up the house chores and have been rocking it ever since. He totally gets me. – married 2 years
Of course, I also heard from a few women whose husbands, or significant others, did not quite cut the mustard when it came to daddy duty. These men had a bit of a harder time adjusting to what was needed.
So what exactly is needed?
This is up to debate and very individual depending on the household and specific family circumstances but, in the interest of Inspiring Women, here are five tips that will hopefully inspire the men in our lives.
- If you are both working outside of the home do consider being the parent who leaves home second. Mom typically has a harder time with leaving and men do tend to be quicker on the hand off before work. Mom could write a note with all of the info that the babysitter needs to get through the day. And Daddy’s if you do not think that note is necessary do NOT say a word. It makes mom feel more calm and she needs that.
- Mom will likely feel guilty leaving the kids (Two-thirds of working moms do) and she needs your support with these feelings. This means empathy is the order of the day. We know you want to solve our problems and we appreciate that this is how men are made but sometimes we just want to be understood. A loving embrace and kind words will make all of the difference.
- Ask your wife how you can help her to feel prepared to return to work. This one is so easy but so very effective.
- If mom works from home then she needs a whole new level of understanding. The work at home mom has an even harder time then the work outside of the home mom when it comes to asking for help in the home. We feel that we should be able to run our businesses, run the kids around town, cook dinner, do laundry and complete the myriad of other tasks. Guess what? We can’t! We may be Wonder Woman but sometimes we do need Superman to come in and save the day. Please cook dinner or do the laundry. 🙂
Be sure to subscribe to Inspiring Women Magazine so that you get updates straight to your inbox. We have some really great things coming up including Greta Boris sharing some of the lessons that she has learned from her daddy.